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| Spondyville Christmas Carols |
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| "It's another Spondyville Christmas"
(To the tune of ... ummm, nothing. It's original.) Ohhh, it's another Spondyville Christmas, Where frienzed shoppers move awfully slow, The Christmas wreathes are hung kind of low, And most of us can't look up to see the mistletoe, It's another Spondyville Christmas, Candy canes and anti-inflammatory pills, it's just another Christmas in Spondyville, Too many inflammed limbs, means too many Tiny Tims, trying out for the Christmas play, But then, our Ebeneezers are seldom geezers; ("That guy's thirty if he's a day"), Oh, it's another Spondyville Christmas, Where Christmas trees are bent over more, The presents are never placed on the floor, And even Santa says, "screw it, I'll just use the door", It's another Spondyville Christmas, I tell you for a Spondy there's no greater thrill, than to spend another Christmas in Spondyville, Where our house's Christmas lights are all at eye level, And there are subdued tones when our revelers revel, Cuz, there's no egg nogs or other drunken blogs; (Not with the drugs we're all takin'), Instead, we quietly pray, for that very special day, when our bodies will all stop achin', It's another Spondyville Christmas, With candy canes and anti-inflammatory pills, It's just another Christmas in Spondyville, When your fingers get arthritic, wrapping gifts becomes pathetic, tying bows turns you into knots, and assembling a bike, Well, God forbid, it's like, A blind man tryin' to connect the dots, Still, whenever there's a Yuletide frost in the air, I think back to the days that I hold with such care, When feeling good meant not having a flare, It's another Spondyville Christmas, My memories of Spondyville and all its good cheer, makes me ask myself, year after year, "Why would I wish to be anywhere other than here?" It's another Spondyville Christmas, Candy canes and anti-inflammatory pills, it's just another Christmas in Spondyville ... Just another Christmas Just another Christmas Just another Christmas In Spondyville. --------------------------------------------- |
| "Pain-Free Christmas"
(To the tune of "White Christmas") I'm dreaming of a pain-free Christmas Just like the ones I used to know Where my back won't seize up, and my neck won't freeze up, So I can play out in the snow I'm dreaming of a pain-free Christmas With every NSAID that I bite May you NOT be kept up all night And may your Spondylitis flares be slight. |
| ---------------------------------------------------------- "Stiffy the Big Snowspondy" * (*To the tune of Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer) You know Spenser and Crusty and Elfster and Terry, Beth, MsJay, Ken, Charlie, and SarahC's Jerry, But do you recall, the most famous Spondy of all? Stiffy, the big Snowspondy, Had a very frozen neck, And if you ever saw it, You would say, "it's stiff, by heck", All of the Spondyvilleans, Knew he had a spine like ice, But they never thought big Stiffy, Could be anything but nice. Then one stifling hot Christmas eve Santa came to say: "Stiffy, frozen like a log, Won't you cool my warm egg nog?" But Stiffy said, "Oh, ya big baby, go get yourself some damned ice cubes from the fridge for cryin' out loud! And that's why all the Spondys love him, He don't take any crap, y'see, Stiffy the big Snowspondy, He'll be frozen in history! ----------------------------------- |
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| Enjoy reading these Spondyville Holiday Classics: (Click on the titles) "Christmas in Spondyville" "It's a Wonderful Snowspondy ..." |
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| "Have a Merry Spondylitis Christmas"
(to the tune of "Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas") Have a Merry Spondylitis Christmas, By that, I mean pain-free, There's some Enbrel, Underneath your Christmas tree, Have a Merry Spondylitis Christmas, May your back feel good, And your neck, Turn to and fro the way it should, Have a merry Spondylitis Christmas, Hope you make it through the day, May your laughter, Warm hearts more than your Ben-Gay. Here we are all in Spondyville, With our Spondy pills galore, Faithful friends who are stooped as us, Feel as pooped as us and more, Through the years We won’t get any better, In fact, we’ll probably get worse, Hanging shining stars will only make us curse. So have a Merry Spondylitis Christmas now. ********** |